if you like me you must not know who I am
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
mondays should just be called national damage control day
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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