The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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