We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize