you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Help me help you realize you are a moron
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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