so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
