Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
