tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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