high people should be assigned attendants
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
