Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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