i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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