sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize