Already got asked if we're dating
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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