so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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