My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
