and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
