Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
