That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
