walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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