I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
