Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
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You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
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She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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