ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
