Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
