Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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