did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
