That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
