i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
what day is it and did you see me today?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
