her vagine was all disorganized.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
