Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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