Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i think i have herpe
just one?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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