I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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