Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
