I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I want to have your abortion
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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