question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
