his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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