Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
