last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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