I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
