and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
