Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
