What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I believe in your delicious
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
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