I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
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A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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