You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
