do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
