I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
