smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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