So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
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i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
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he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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