Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
