I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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