U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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