Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just lost a toe
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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