So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
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As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
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I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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