SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize