p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
