her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
