go do what you do best...puke behind churches
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
