i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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