I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
