how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It's just like the Real World with babies
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
