Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
nutella sex= disaster
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
