My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
