Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
