His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
