ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
