Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize