allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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