guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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