i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
