just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
