Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize