why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
